Are you stuck, confused or at a turning point in your life and don’t know which way to go?
If so, are you pushing hard or trying to make things work out? Or, perhaps you’ve gone to the other extreme by now and are resigned because you tell yourself ‘that’s just the way it is and it’s not likely to change soon!’
Have you tried simply accepting that you are stuck?
I used to think that if I accepted things as they were that I was doomed. It meant that I didn’t want to improve, progress or learn. If I got stuck I always pushed hard, as I heard a voice in my head saying ‘I should do better’. I was constantly striving for perfection (whatever that is!). My wonderful Dad didn’t help matters when he wrote in my birthday book, “Good, better, best, may you never rest, until your good is better and your better best”. As a child I read into these words that I couldn’t rest, because I could always do better. As an adult I know I can do better, but I have learned to accept that I am also doing my best.
And so, I didn’t learn one of the most important steps, to STOP and give myself time to notice what is really happening in the moment and accept the situation as it truly is. My fear and vulnerability kept pushing me to keep going. The irony is that it’s often the inability to stop, the resistance to our true feelings and a lack of acceptance of how it is right now, that is keeping us stuck and confused.
Finally, our body is not willing to push forward any longer, in a direction which does not serve our higher purpose or soul. We lose all energy to move forward in the direction that we are going, we get confused and stuck.
It would be really easy, at this point, to throw our hands up in the air and say “What’s the point, I work hard, I’m a good citizen, I help others and yet it’s still not good enough, I give up!” Of course, I know this story well and so you can imagine my delight when I found out that this stuckness was actually an ‘Ingenious Stagnation’, in the words of Karla McLaren, in her book The Language of Emotions. Our body actually brings us to a standstill because we are no longer moving in a direction which fulfils us and so all our energy is drained away.
Q. So what can you do differently?
A. Acceptance and awareness
STOP and begin by accepting the situation as it is right now. Notice how you are truly feeling. Notice what your body and emotions are telling you and identify what thoughts are limiting your potential. Ask yourself where your energy has gone and what is draining you. Is it a relationship, a job, a belief system or even unacknowledged sadness or grief.
When you have the courage to stop and see things for how they truly are, it’s the first step to knowing how to move forwards. When you listen and respond to your body and emotions, like horses do, your life can begin to flow again.
It’s not always as easy as it sounds, if it was we would all be flowing and not getting stuck! In my experience it actually takes effort and support to honour my true feelings, challenge my limiting beliefs, to get clear about a direction which inspires me and to take action. But, this effort is worthwhile, because I can reconnect with joy and flow with life again.
So, if you are stuck, confused or at a turning point in your life – STOP!
Accept where you are right now
Acknowledge your true feelings and emotions
Become aware of your limiting thoughts and beliefs
Find a way forward which inspires you
Get support for your process
AND Enjoy your life!